Until you look like this…

So 5 years on here you are…
Happiest moment of your life…
With someone else…
With another man…
and I am just here finding myself still holding on to the your memories…

You deserve it…
I could not have given you… things you dreamt of… I saw a picture… he looks pretty handsome… bit fat though :p but you still looked so damn beautiful… I sincerely hope he would never ever make the mistakes I made… I think you probably know that too and that’s why you are giving your heart to him…

The funny thing is one of my best mates getting married to a Tamil girl…
I had to look at the invitation few times to make sure in a twisted way you didn’t invite me (Though I wish I could have been there on your wedding day least as a friend…

I am somewhat jealous because he could marry a tamil girl without a worry and I can’t no matter how much I loved you I can’t… I hate it.. I sometimes hope that I be in a position that I would be able to tear those old petty things apart, crush and burnt to thin air… Everything that stood in our way… the politics, war, hatred, jealousy

This is much anger as oppose to having any more romantic feelings… It’s not there anymore damage this done for both of us is way way too much… but I care for you… one can never forget the first love

All this is aside you deserve it…

I want to tell you this in person but doing so would only well don’t think the best idea… and of course you don’t want to talk or see me anyway…

I am happy that you’re finally happy. Getting what you deserve…

 

Expired

I was watching the film… this woman’s mother died… and she phones up her aunt… she sas it was too late for her to drive and hangs up.

I still remember you calling me when that uncle died. I thought you were OK. I should have responded better… I should have come straight away. I am not the same person anymore…

Too young, Too dumb to realize

It hurts a little less than it used to… But still once in a while I wish I did things bit differently when I was your man. Though I my heart feels like it’s broken to little pieces I would do it all over again.

Bruno Mars – When I Was Your Man

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
‘Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
‘Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man

Although it hurts
I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I’m probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
‘Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man

 

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow…

LET HER GO – PASSENGER

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you’ll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you’ll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
‘Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
‘Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go
And you let her go
Well you let her go

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

‘Cause you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin’ home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

I never thought… :(

I still remember the day
When we first day.
Dressed in black
you took my breath away.

Days passed by
I secretly dreamt you be mine
I never thought you’d be mine
Then you stole my heart away.

You were my best friend.
Nothing else in the world mattered
I built my universe around you.
Everything and only thing I ever had.

For a second
I never doubted your love
The words you said
I never thought you’d leave me
paralysed, suffocating.

I miss you

I saw a new picture of you today. You still look beautiful. I am watching Spider man 3 now. MJ walked out on him when he went to propose her. Aunt may: Well, you start by doing the hardest thing: You forgive yourself. I believe in you, Peter. You’re a good person. And I know […]

I must

I must find courage to cut you out,
I still miss you after all these years
I must fight this feeling
I once in a while look at your twitter
Just to see how you doing.

Even though you blocked me and cut me out.
I am going crazy each time
2 days since I didn’t look at how you are doing
I just need to fight you with my..

Its like a drug running through veins
screaming out wanting to be part of you again.
This is going to kill me inside out

I never wanted be here…I don’t wanna be here at all… but here I am… So much regret… So much pain

I don’t wanna be here —
Stuck in my head – trapped inside these walls
So much regret — so much pain
I’m drowning slowly – in the mess that I made
I don’t wanna be here I don’t wanna be here at all

Chorus
Can I let it go — or will it haunt my soul
How did I get this way — god I feel so afraid
Will I be a better man — will I learn to understand
I can’t keep on living — unforgiven

Didn’t wanna hurt you — didn’t wanna hurt you at all
I took you so high — just to let you fall
Can I pick up the pieces of our life
Start it over give it one more try
Didn’t wanna hurt you — didn’t wanna hurt you at all

Chorus
Can I let it go — or will it haunt my soul
How did I get this way — god I feel so afraid
Will I be a better man — will I learn to understand
I can’t keep on living — unforgiven

Bridge
I’m so desperate to live — so desperate to breathe
so much so give — so much I wanna be
Won’t let my mistakes — take you away from me

Can I let it go — or will it haunt my soul

Chorus
Can I let it go — or will it haunt my soul
How did I get this way — god I feel so afraid
Will I be a better man — will I learn to understand
I can’t keep on living — unforgiven

Can’t keep on living — unforgiven

I don’t wanna be here — I don’t wanna be here at all…

I Quit

I’m quitting my job just like you quit on me.

I realised a lot of things. Last few weeks at work been really messy. I’ve been angry disappointed countless mistakes felt like always complaining and whining, plenty of verbal warnings, getting told off all going in a downward spiral.

Just like how I made you feel.

As much as you cared about the company, it had to stop for ur sanity. Like I have to move on from my job you had to move on from me.

I wish they listen to me it was every time about company. I felt that trust was broken and irreplaceable at this moment in time.

Just like how I made you feel.

I really am sorry for everything. I hope I get a chance to make it all up to you someday.

I was writing this to email you but I’m no longer going to email you. Last thing I want is my company to contact me. I would have to keep the contacts to minimum.

Because I can’t tell you

Tomorrow I’m going to possibly hand in my resignation. I’m heading for New York. I have no clue what I’m going to do with my life.

I can really do with a hug right now. I just need to feel ur arms around me. I miss that feeling really bad.

You made me feel all better. Right now I want to call you but you hate me. So I can’t. I want to prove that I can stand on my feet. I don’t want to be a burden. But it hurts you are not around. Its burns my soul.

I will not contact you for few weeks. I won’t I will do my best. I will take it. We men brawl and take a punch, we go to war loose limbs. But when a woman leaves it f**** hurts and reduce to tears in a corner of a dark room. But its ok I can take this pain.

I will take it.